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Thread: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

  1. 07-26-2007, 10:38 AM #1
    Luke Duke
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    Exclamation Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Not for the faint of heart TRUE story!
























    You've been warned....

















    Ok, so one of our nurses shows up at a patient's home to find the sister in the room with the patient doing something. Upon examination the nurse finds out the sister is digging out the patient...........with a butterknife.


    Yes, a butterknife....

    So the nurse told her to stop and explains she could perforate the bowel, the patient said that they were uncomfortable from the constipation so the risk was inconsequential.......(ok I worded it more elegantly)


    But a butterknife?

    A butterknife?
    You'll use it, boy, and as long as you hate using it, you will use it more wisely than most men would. Wait. If ever you don't hate it any longer, then will be the time to throw it as far as you can and run the other way.”
    —Elyas Machera to Perrin
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  2. 07-26-2007, 10:40 AM #2
    bigheadood
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    DooDooButter.......Knife.
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  3. 07-26-2007, 10:42 AM #3
    Luís
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    She should have let them carry on...
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  4. 07-26-2007, 10:52 AM #4
    Budweiser
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Quote Originally Posted by LSP View Post
    She should have let them carry on...
    Life's a journey, pack a lunch!.
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  5. 07-26-2007, 10:53 AM #5
    HamerPlyr
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    I've heard people say, "Cut the crap!", but I never took it literally. Wow!
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  6. 07-26-2007, 11:10 AM #6
    Luke Duke
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Quote Originally Posted by Budweiser View Post
    I appreciate that picture it put a on my face!

    Quote Originally Posted by HamerPlyr View Post
    I've heard people say, "Cut the crap!", but I never took it literally. Wow!
    Amazing isn't?
    You'll use it, boy, and as long as you hate using it, you will use it more wisely than most men would. Wait. If ever you don't hate it any longer, then will be the time to throw it as far as you can and run the other way.”
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  7. 07-26-2007, 11:10 AM #7
    Budweiser
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Feces marmalade is a delicacy in Indonesia.
    Life's a journey, pack a lunch!.
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  8. 07-26-2007, 11:13 AM #8
    Budweiser
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Quote Originally Posted by Luke Duke View Post
    I appreciate that picture it put a on my face!
    Well, if figured since the new rules took effect, the testosterone level here has been waaay down. I think we needed a boobst, I mean a boost.
    Life's a journey, pack a lunch!.
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  9. 07-26-2007, 11:22 AM #9
    Luke Duke
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Quote Originally Posted by Budweiser View Post
    I think we needed a boobst...
    yes, yes I agree compeletely
    You'll use it, boy, and as long as you hate using it, you will use it more wisely than most men would. Wait. If ever you don't hate it any longer, then will be the time to throw it as far as you can and run the other way.”
    —Elyas Machera to Perrin
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  10. 07-26-2007, 01:45 PM #10
    Gearjoneser
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Haven't they ever heard of a spork? LOL

    This thread is just fine without pics!

    Getting old scares me. I'd be the old man who says "forget the butterknife, gimme my 9mm and a bottle of whiskey."
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  11. 07-26-2007, 02:03 PM #11
    The Golden Boy
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Reminds me of when stuff gets stuck in my butt. I just go to:

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  12. 07-26-2007, 02:05 PM #12
    BigAlTheBird
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Cut the crap was very good. Very quick witted.
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  13. 07-26-2007, 02:21 PM #13
    Luke Duke
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden Boy View Post
    Reminds me of when stuff gets stuck in my butt. I just go to:

    I think that ambulance should make its appearance like the waaahmbulance does.

    Jr's got hemoroids time for....
    You'll use it, boy, and as long as you hate using it, you will use it more wisely than most men would. Wait. If ever you don't hate it any longer, then will be the time to throw it as far as you can and run the other way.”
    —Elyas Machera to Perrin
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  14. 07-26-2007, 03:34 PM #14
    exnihilo
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    See what happens when they take away stuff to talk about, even guns.

    Why the hell a butter-knife? A popsicle stick maybe, but a knife?

    cg
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  15. 07-26-2007, 03:35 PM #15
    LesStrat
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Romans 3:23; 6:23; 5:8; 10:13; 10:9-10

    Teknon Theou


    A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first..
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  16. 07-26-2007, 03:36 PM #16
    carpfishy
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    A butter knife! no sh!t?










    (sorry for the use of fowl language, but it was inteneded for comical use.)
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  17. 07-26-2007, 03:43 PM #17
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Quote Originally Posted by Gearjoneser View Post
    Haven't they ever heard of a spork? LOL

    This thread is just fine without pics!

    Getting old scares me. I'd be the old man who says "forget the butterknife, gimme my 9mm and a bottle of whiskey."
    But the butterknife would be far less mess than shooting it out.
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  18. 07-27-2007, 06:13 AM #18
    Luke Duke
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    Quote Originally Posted by exnihilo View Post
    Why the hell a butter-knife? A popsicle stick maybe, but a knife?

    cg

    Man....I have NO idea!
    You'll use it, boy, and as long as you hate using it, you will use it more wisely than most men would. Wait. If ever you don't hate it any longer, then will be the time to throw it as far as you can and run the other way.”
    —Elyas Machera to Perrin
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  19. 07-28-2007, 08:55 AM #19
    nepalnt21
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    Default Re: Don't wait for medical personnel! (bodily humor)

    ive heard the same story at a local hospital, but with a spoon. the elderly tend to get a little desperate in situations like this.
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