Swingers

[ginormous]

From my perspective, the more people in a relationship, the greater the potential for problems, and the more complex the problems are.

Once a fantasy, but a cooler "head" now prevails.

edit: Bungalow, I envy you. What a beautiful child, and all respect to the lovely lady.

[Ken]

I've been asked by a few couples...I always say no. I think it's a great way to ruin a relationship and I don't want my hands in that.

People are free to do what they want to do...being single and living the wild life is one thing, but I question how solid a relationship is and if it can really benefit from having multiple partners. There's a lot to be said for the emotional intimacy of a strong, positive monogamous relationship. The sex is entirely different, and in my opinion miles beyond the best non-committed sex.

Live and let live, but I don't see the need or desire for it if the couple is really building a positive relationship.

I am holding you personally responsible for the posts of your peers.

Three pages in and cool heads so far...seems your remark was a good reminder to play nice for the other members, Bob-o.

Makes me want to risk my own account for the sake of a religious discussion

[bungalowbill]

From my perspective, the more people in a relationship, the greater the potential for problems, and the more complex the problems are.

Once a fantasy, but a cooler "head" now prevails.

edit: Bungalow, I envy you. What a beautiful child, and all respect to the lovely lady.

Good advice and thanks....I love them all dearly.

[Jake]

I could never do it.



I also look down on people who do.

[daemon barbeque]

...There's a lot to be said for the emotional intimacy of a strong, positive monogamous relationship. The sex is entirely different, and in my opinion miles beyond the best non-committed sex.

Well as i stated ,many but many couples have a horrible sexual life...Love and passion can "die" when the chemistry of the partners don't "suit" each other....
We have allways an image of the "perfect" partner...But the reality is far from it...And when the mother nature "calls to arms" ,noone can deny it!
I know how intimacy and being "soul bound" affects sex positively...But you need chemistry for it...Many things we call magical ,or just fitting like a glove is chemical...If it doesn't suit ,there is no way a chance to have a positive sexual life ,as long as both sides of the party are asexual or really "coooooooooold blooded"!

[Gearjoneser]

I could never do it.

I also look down on people who do.

I like how you're just honest about it. I hate to admit it, but I agree.
There's nothing positive about someone who has no respect for themselves or their mate. As civilized humans, there's something mentally wrong with a male who likes to watch some random guy do his chick...or even know that it's occuring. Or, someone who expects their girlfriend/wife to respect them after basically acting like a pimp.

I'm no prude, and I've even worked in situations surrounded by swingers and porn, and the more I was around it, the more I saw it as an ugly thing.....a cultural backstep, a mentally damaging abuse, and a cop-out to say it's OK.

That's my opinion. And it's no wonder there's so many F'ed up families and kids out there. I'm not sitting on a moral highground, but people need to take responsibility for their mental and physical well-being, and acting like an animal puts you on that same level. They just don't know it yet.

[idsnowdog]

Swinging isn't really about trust, freedom or adventure, instead it's more about compulsion.

[ModestCargo]

It all comes down to.. it's simply about the simplest urges and desires we have.

I don't like it, and I wouldn't do it.

But no disrespect to people who do.

[Tor]

I have no understanding for those doing that. Be as creative as you want, just keep that within the relationship between you and your girl.

[The Golden Boy]

Tarzan rocks.

[The Golden Boy]

Robin Hood is cool too.

[Manachild]

I could never do it.



I also look down on people who do.

+1

[Blue Calx]

I don't think I could handle either type of relationship, honestly.

From this point of view (though one I hardly claim to be objective), I'd like to offer the suggestion that fanatical monogamy is every bit as "perverted" as an open relationship. It seems you're just trading indulgence of one base, animal desire (sex with whomever) for another (the need to possess) if you argue that monogamy is the only civilized choice.

[Aceman]

I soooooo wrote this thread off when I first read it. Figured it'd never make post 7. I was wrong....Then Odie showed up. Figured it would be over in two more. I was wrong again! Time to chime in:

I would like to think that it could work, and that I'd be into it - But at the end of the day I don't think so. I mean wild whoopee - what's not to like about that? But at the end of the day, emotions are what they are and you can't really stop them. So I'd say it's best not to mess with them.

My radio show guys (Lex & Terry) take a lot of calls on this, and over the years they have discovered a few things, and I think they are pretty much right:
#1 Any rules means trouble. If you have to set conditions on this stuff, it's doomed. As I said, an emotion will kick in for someone you want more than your partner sooner or later....
#2 The people who get into this NEVER look as good as the porn/movie people you see. Any time there is a documentary on this the people are just not that attractive...
#3 It almost always goes wrong eventually. Someone spends too much time with one partner, sees someone when the other isn't around, etc...and it's over. The only way it seems to work is the occasional "threesome" that someone falls into by accident when the booze, the broad, and the hot tub all line up along with the stars....

I'm not saying it can't work, but I bet the tragedy rate for this crowd is WAY higher than for most. I know they will argue " we aren't meant to be monogamous, it's not cheating , it's all honest" But for the most part I think probably 99.5% of those relationships end up toast - unlike th regualr 50%. Like I said - It's tough enough to work it out with one person. Three? You have to be kidding!

[Gr8Scott]

Not appealing to me, but I know some swingers and they are OK people I guess. Funny thing bout one of them is that she's cheating on her husband outside of the swinging thing also. Doesn't seem like the healthiest thing in the world to be into and it's not good for most relationships IMHO, but I'm not gonna judge anyone who wants to do that.

[Imp]

it's finally time to say the 3 words closest to my heart..

...


...


no fat chicks!

[LesStrat]

Swinging is a great activity.










































It promotes the development of balance, awareness of centerline, it can promote cross-lateralization:


And overall motor skills and strength.

[Gearjoneser]

That was dorky...dorky, but funny! LOL

[J Moose]

I'm completely SHOCKED this made it to four pages...



Completely.



The closest I've ever gotten to that kind of activity was in my early 20's...


I was kinda "dating" () this girl who was a few years younger then me & lived near Rumson, NJ... a highly affluent area. Bruce Springsteen lives there...

Anyway... early on she kidnapped me, brought me out to Sandy Hook which has a Naval Base, fishing lagoons and... a nude beach.

Somewhat shocking... but who in their right mind is NOT going to follow a beautiful young women into that kind of thing?!?



Good times.


I've personally NEVER been involved with that kind of thing but knew a few couples who have. The one thing they all agreed on was that if it's going to work... they (the couple) need to have complete trust in each other and not confuse/cross the lines of sex & love. If that happens, trouble will follow. Meaning whatever happens, happens... but we go home together.


Again, no direct experience... but that's what they say.


Human instinct is a crazy thing...


Thousands of years worth of "programming" there...

[3'scompany]

All I can think of when I see all of this is Love Line. I just remember how Dr. Drew, when ever a threesome call comes up, states that in all his years he's never seen it work out... and that dude has seen a lot in his days.

I couldn't believe a person if they said they were in love with their partner and were swingers. Just doesn't work in my book. If you are at a point where you want to have sex with other people, just sack up and end your current relationship. If you're wanting to swing you aren't 100% happy with your current partner, IMO.