How do you explain this one?

[lpmarshall]

Ohio Man Arrested for Having Sex with Picnic Table

[JOLLY]

"with the table?".....lol...and I thought I was a freak. That sounds like something Quagmire would do.

[Skullkrusher]

.......huh?

[Gearjoneser]

paging Jerryjg.....

[JOLLY]

paging Jerryjg.....

He can't retort. He's too worried about bugs on his wood..lol

[ibanezrocks]

Leave him alone, it was his own picnic table. It's not like he was getting it on with some random picnic tables in the park or something.

[idsnowdog]

Was he having sex with the umbrella stand?

[Surgeon]

Leave him alone, it was his own picnic table. It's not like he was getting it on with some random picnic tables in the park or something.

That's what my reaction was too... I mean ok, that's deviant but he's not harming anybody or even making public property grimey... he's just having sex with his picnic table... as twisted as this sounds, it's still his own property at his own place... let him have the lil' fun he can get since the best he manages to get is a table...

[ratherdashing]

I just realized I'm using way too much mental energy trying to figure out how exactly a man has sex with a picnic table.

Seriously, it's baffling me. It's like one of those logic puzzles.

[DLT]

How did he have sex with a picnic table? He used his woodpecker...

[J Moose]

Uhhhhh...

Well that's just F-ed up.

[Surgeon]

I just realized I'm using way too much mental energy trying to figure out how exactly a man has sex with a picnic table.

Seriously, it's baffling me. It's like one of those logic puzzles.

There's so many things in this world that I know I'll never understand, not for their complexity but for their lack of any sense that my mind can make of them...

[ginormous]

Between January and March? Indoors and out? Was his blowup doll cheating on him with the hallway coat rack?

[Carl762]

Lmao.

[LesStrat]

Was it really necessary to post his mugshot?

They should arrest the peeping Tom who videotaped it.

[ginormous]

^4realz. Who would be willing to video this guy waxing his table?

[ibanezrocks]

Ok so I think we've come to an agreement on this. It's perfectly alright for a responsible adult to have sex with the hole in the top of their picnic table so long as they don't get caught and the table agrees to it.

[JB_From_Hell]

What kind of world do we live in where a man can't have sex with his picnic table without getting arrested?

This town needs an enema!

[DepecheMoses]

and the table agrees to it.

Most important point. Tables always tell me no

[ginormous]

Tables always tell me no

Don't rush things; take it out to dinner first.
Talk about waking up with wood...