Seriously, I'll watch some horror movie like Hostel or Saw, then freak out when my kids hear somebody say "jackass" on a sitcom
hmmm....I like pr0n and stuff? ...boy Im not sure I wanna think how my kids will grow up...maybe they will be the new era of flower children...like in the 70s when e v e r y t h i n g was natural and normal for a child to see
Romans 3:23; 6:23; 5:8; 10:13; 10:9-10
Parenting is a learned skill. Normally you do a better job with kid 2 and then 3 (if you're lucky enough to have 3). First one gets the 'on the job' mistakes. 2nd one normally gets the benefit of lessons learned.
I think we did a pretty good job with our two. Daughter took the brunt of the learning curve. Son was much easier. I'll probably find out stuff I don't want to know in 10 years.
You do the best you can and hopefully don't screw your kids up too badly.
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I think Chris said it best so far.
And while I haven't had kids, I've never had a skewed view of parenting due to my age. Well, by never I mean "since I was cognizant of good parenting" or "the last 8 years."
Then again, my parents haven't ever really been mad at me. That's not to say I'm perfect, but we've never had conflicts over their parenting style and my son-style. It just kinda gelled.
I guess that's the story of my life though.
While it's perfectly fair to claim those without children have no relevant perspective (whether you've said it that way or not, it's what you (pl) have meant), I wonder if it isn't healthy to occasionally hear the perspective from a teenager for whom you are not responsible. Perhaps a rant isn't the best vehicle for these teens to deliver their perspectives, but even at 27 I can appreciate some of the views shared by our teenage brothers, mostly because like many of you I've lived through it and looked back on it.
Very early on I was, IMO, overly sheltered. I was the first born and an only child until the age of 5, so it is not difficult to understand why my parents would have been over protective of me, even in the years following the birth of my sister. Only son, only remaining male to carry on the family name (on this branch, but it's a very big branch), so even my grandparents sheltered me when my parents weren't looking. At the time I wasn't old enough to understand the oppression, but looking back on my childhood I see where my family was highly protective of me. Do I believe this played a part in the development of my social skills? Absolutely, and I'm not sure it was for the better.
My father was the first to discover that damage control worked better for me than hiding me under a rock. He understood that I'd be introduced the sensitive subjects some day, and he wanted my understanding of the subjects to come first from him and not from the schoolyard (that is why I can appreciate cream's reaction to LesStrat's comment about "Whose Line." It's a tiny bit of surprise that someone sees the benign subject matter in "Whose Line" as worthy of censorship, but mostly shock at the notion that the material warrants explanation). I wouldn't have wanted to learn 10% of the things my father exposed me to in the school yard for two reasons: first, I believe my perception of the more sensitive subjects is far more mature than my contemporary peers because I learned of them through a mature individual who cared enough to ensure I had a mature perspective on the matters. Second, learning the more sensitive subjects in the schoolyard often comes with added ridicule, which can be especially mortifying for already socially awkward individuals. Yes, I know, because while Dad picked up most of the sensitive subjects, he couldn't get to them all. I may not be perfect, my parents may not be perfect, but looking back at it today I feel like they got that part right.
No, I don't have children of my own, and no, I don't mean to presume that everyone should follow my parent's lead. I'm simply sharing a story... mostly because I'm bored and cannot sleep.
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First of all, nobody should be having kids. There are too many people on the planet.
Second of all, kids used to be treated just like adults. Until the federal government made putting kids up to 18 in schools mandatory, you'd have 7 and 8 year olds workin in factories next to 30-year-old men with families, often making very similar wages.
Third of all, my mom sheltered me a lot growing up and kept me from doing a lot of 'normal' teenage things and now i'm a drug-using Satanist. Plus I was looking at porn when I was like 10, would watch movies i wasn't 'allowed' to at friends' houses...kids find ways around shelter.
Just be real with 'em and tell 'em how things are and what you think about 'em. They'll respect you more and people tend to go along with the opinions of people they respect than people they think are lying or sugar-coating things to 'protect' them. We're all people on a crazy planet we don't understand and you owe it to your kids to make them as smart as possible, even about the ugly things...better they learn about them from a second or third party while they're young than learn from it first-hand when it has a chance to do serious damage.
But the counter-point I would make is that television isn't intended to be a babysitter for your kids and there should be something in place to keep that inadvertent "bump" from occurring. That could be something like being able to lockout all other channels or dropping the remote control in your pocket and the kids knowing that if they touch the cable box to change the channel it's going to result in them being reprimanded.
Don't get me wrong....I'm not disagreeing with you. Parenting is never a one-sided thing.
The thing that pisses me off is that when I sit down with my son to watch Sesame Street from On Demand the little "previews" window always seems to be showing either couples fornicating or a fight sequence. Last I checked there is no manner in which to block it; it's part of the menus and we either have to deal with it or just not use it.
My point regarding kids and exposure to violence... I don't believe children will be more declined to behave more violent (although there are examples of unstable ones for the contrary to be true too).. But I believe it makes children desensitized and a bit indifferent when it comes to gruesome examples in the real world. Let kids be kids.. They'll meet the hard facts of the world later quickly enough...
Last edited by Tor; 07-23-2008 at 05:11 AM.
Best thing I have seen with parenting and being a parent. Don't be a hypocrite and be a leader.
Children will respect you and hopefully when that rebellous stage hits the worse thing they will do is listen to Def Lep and G n' r. lol.
Thats what happened with my youth pastor... his dad walked the walk and didn't have TV and didn't let TV babysit his son. His sister on the other hand was spoiled and got away with everything. She's still a princess after having two spoiled whiney kids.
However He did get good friends with a person in the church that wasn't raised in church and he got exposed to those things. When you have earned a childs respect they will think... "Would my parents like this?"
If kids are lead they will usually follow. If they are allowed to roam wild and make idiots of themselves before age 8 they will be spoiled idiot brats until they get married and they will raise spoiled idiot brats.
you set for your children
as people, interacting with other people, behaving ethically and morally,
IS ENTIRELY MORE SIGNIFICANT
in their development and the shaping of who they become
you might vainly attempt
Another thing that bothers me. BC costs about 4 bucks a month. Wife might get a little weight gain.. but her blemishes will go away.
If you can't handle raising good quality kids... do us all a favor and pay 48 bucks a year plus insurances lol
Take the new movies that have Hollywood "morals": Click, 40 year old virgin, any cross dressing whatever movie, Bruce Almighty, etc etc. It's sugar coated sour.
I don't want Hollywood teaching our youth group... morality... thats what convictions, leadership, and parents are for.