Ok guys I’m in desperate need of some relationship advice. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 ½ years now. I love her. She loves me. However, when people ask me if she’s “the one”, the immediate thought in my head is “I don’t know, what does ‘the one’ mean?” Usually what comes out though is “yeah I guess.” I should mention she’s my first serious relationship, so I don’t have personal experience to compare our situation to. I look around at others we know who are married and they just seem to go right into marriage without hesitation and are completely fine. When I ask the guys how they knew their girl was the one, they’re like “dude, you just know.” Well my problem is I don’t know. I can’t say without a doubt yes or no to whether she’s the one or not. I guess part of me is worried “what if she’s not the one?” and the other part of me is saying “what if she is? I’ll be throwing that away if I break up to find out.” My parents like her, hers like me. We have fun together and similar interests and values. I’ve never been a wild one so I don’t care about adding points to my scoreboard. I just want to be a happy family man, regardless of the amount of flings I’ve had. Recently, her apartment lease renewal has come up and we’re at this crossroads of what we should do. I hate the fact that after this long, it’s hard for me to come to any concrete conclusions. I’m honestly scared out of my mind right now, and I don’t know if this is normal or not, because like I said, this is my only real relationship I have experience with. I don’t know what’s normal or abnormal.
There aren’t any major red flags like trust issues or jealousy, hating the other person’s family or friends. We have our ups and downs like I’m sure any couple does. But since her lease is up, I’ve really tried hard to put this in perspective as we need to make the right changes here. I’m pretty religious and I pray a lot for guidance. I’ve always thought if it’s meant to be it will happen, and if not it won’t. But here we are today, and I’m very lost, confused, scared, and time is running out. I don’t know if I have a case of cold feet and I’m fearing the unknowns of commitment, or if something is seriously wrong. All I know is I’m worrying myself nauseous trying to figure it out. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost another quarter inch on the hairline as well! Anyway, I’m hoping some of you out there might have some guidance that can help point me in the right direction. Has anyone had a similar experience themselves?
As always, thanks in advance for your help guys.