I care what other people think, and it's causing a problem.

[H8Red442]

Bottom line is you need to get out of your parents house and you know it. You're not depressed. You're ashamed you haven't made the move and too scared to do so.

It's not society's expectations of where you should be that you're trying to ignore. You're trying to ignore your own expectations.

You're unhappy with your situation in life and unwilling to change it.

My situation was similar. In 1997 at 23 I Moved out of my parents house and a year later got married. A year after that I was on the verge of divorce. By March of 2000 I was back at my parents place. Mere months away from turning 26 and divorced, now I'm back home in my childhood bedroom. Saddled with loads of debt in a job that paid well but really had no promise. I was miserable.

Three years later I went to visit an old friend who had moved to Dallas a couple years prior. This was the second time this year that I had gone to see him and I was so down in the dumps on the trip home I couldn't stand it. In January of 2003 I had gone to see him as well and almost didn't come home. August of that year was the same thing. I realized I needed my own life and needed to be out of my parents house. Within three weeks I was out. It was a huge improvement. I had pride in myself again. It took a few years and far longer than I'd have liked it to take but shortly after turning 29 I recovered from a huge bump in the road of my life.

It's never been perfect and it's not the answer to all of your problems but you can sure as hell bet your current situation is doing you no good mentally. You have a place you want to be in your life and you're not there.

Do something about it.

[GoDrex]

Just make some goals and break them into smaller steps and work on accomplishing each step. If you do that you'll be where you want to be soon.

[GuitarStv]

Just make some goals and break them into smaller steps and work on accomplishing each step. If you do that you'll be where you want to be soon.

+1

This is pretty good advice. One of the main reasons that people experience paralysis when trying to fix their troubles is that they try to do too many things all at once. Breaking issues down into manageable chunks makes them solvable.

[sosomething]

Yep. Others have said most of what should be said.

You do seem like a good dude - but it is time to grow up.

Part of being an adult is taking calculated risks and accepting accountability for their outcomes.

Part of being a man is acknowledging your emotions, but not allowing them to define you or your course of action.

A grown man acts on reason and logic, and understands that the road to happiness is usually paved with hard work.

[bluesbend]

Does Mom still make your bed and wash your clothes too?

Sounds to me like you should get involved with a drum circle.

[tc]

This is a writing blog that I check out often, but I find that the first article (at the time of posting would be "Do you need internal or external approval?") might give you some sort of insight since it's not something that can only be applied to writing.

http://writetodone.com/

[DrNewcenstein]

I'm 41 and spend my days off sitting in a room surrounded by 23 guitars, 2 Xbox 360s, a PS3, a Wii, a PC with tons of software to do everything from audio/video production to games to 3D modeling, a ton of guitar mags I have yet to really dig into and learn from, and a closet full of sh!t I haven't seen in a year or more.

What's a guy of 41 "supposed" to be doing right now?

Whatever the fck I want.

I often get "you still play video games? at your age??" stupidity form other people.

I usually reply:
"Uhh, yeah. Am I not old enough to do whatever I want? Should I be out rebuilding an old muscle car or a bike or farming or some sh!t I care nothing for? No.

I should be doing exactly what I'm doing right now: whatever I want, because I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and what other people want and/or expect of me in that regard is of no consequence to me."

[sosomething]

I'm 41 and spend my days off sitting in a room surrounded by 23 guitars, 2 Xbox 360s, a PS3, a Wii, a PC with tons of software to do everything from audio/video production to games to 3D modeling, a ton of guitar mags I have yet to really dig into and learn from, and a closet full of sh!t I haven't seen in a year or more.

What's a guy of 41 "supposed" to be doing right now?

Whatever the fck I want.

I often get "you still play video games? at your age??" stupidity form other people.

I usually reply:
"Uhh, yeah. Am I not old enough to do whatever I want? Should I be out rebuilding an old muscle car or a bike or farming or some sh!t I care nothing for? No.

I should be doing exactly what I'm doing right now: whatever I want, because I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and what other people want and/or expect of me in that regard is of no consequence to me."

Edit: I can't even make fun of this. It's just too depressing.

[H8Red442]

I'm 41 and spend my days off sitting in a room surrounded by 23 guitars, 2 Xbox 360s, a PS3, a Wii, a PC with tons of software to do everything from audio/video production to games to 3D modeling, a ton of guitar mags I have yet to really dig into and learn from, and a closet full of sh!t I haven't seen in a year or more.

What's a guy of 41 "supposed" to be doing right now?

Whatever the fck I want.

I often get "you still play video games? at your age??" stupidity form other people.

I usually reply:
"Uhh, yeah. Am I not old enough to do whatever I want? Should I be out rebuilding an old muscle car or a bike or farming or some sh!t I care nothing for? No.

I should be doing exactly what I'm doing right now: whatever I want, because I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and what other people want and/or expect of me in that regard is of no consequence to me."

So your parents have a pretty big basement then?

[korovamilkdud]

This is me laughing at some of the responses.

[stratobastard]

The greatest happiness is not giving a sh!t.

that is the epitome of Zen!

[tone4days]

The greatest happiness is not giving a sh!t.

You might be surprised just how closely the Dali Lama would come to agreeing with that statement.

close ... i think he would gently correct that the greatest happiness is in knowing that there is no sh!t to give

[speed2dirt]

It's not society's expectations of where you should be that you're trying to ignore. You're trying to ignore your own expectations.

You're unhappy with your situation in life and unwilling to change it.

+1
Great advice/observation! The first step is always the hardest.

[Bass_Medic_05]

The greatest happiness is not giving a sh!t.

.....I have to agree...There are two types of people in life followers and leaders

Followers just maintain in life never ventured never gained.....and leaders lead themselves and because of that other gravitate towards them.......so what do you want to be.

[PVFan]

when you *don't* care what people think, it causes just as many problems. Cuz the world is a b!tch and doesn't want to feel ignored, and she will get under your skin one way or another.

also, it's not merely about followers and leaders per the above post .... Every single interaction you have with another, every single one of them, is a master/slave powerplay; the acquiring or maintaining of some kind of control or power. Sometimes it's better to be alpha, sometimes it's better not to be.

to an extent, you have to care what people think as a survival skill. Cuz the world is a b!tch, no matter how hot she is, no matter how she treats you on her "nice" days. She does actually love you, but, again, "beee-itch".

[Gr8Scott]

Times are rough out there bro and I'm not gonna look down on anyone who lives with their folks no matter how old they are. Shizzle happens and that doesn't make you a failure. In the roughest sense, ceasing to try is what I would classify as failure, but it's really more of a sign of intense depression than "failure" to me. I feel for folks in that position. They don't try because they expect everything to end in failure anyway. With the economy like it is lately, who can really blame them for giving up.