Moving out

[JonnyG92]

A friend and I are thinking of splitting a 1 or a 2-br house/apartment about a 3hrs' drive from the Nest. We both work hourly jobs at a supermarket and we can both transfer to a larger store in the new city. But...
I'm still pretty young and I have only the slightest idea of what to watch out for. What kind of things should I be worried about when moving to the city for the first time?

Oh and... slightly more importantly... What things should I be careful about if said friend just happens to be a she?

[Aceman]

How old are you?

You don't know if the friend is a dude or a chic? Is this a friend or someone on craig's list???

[Left_Hand_Strat]

A friend and I are thinking of splitting a 1 or a 2-br house/apartment about a 3hrs' drive from the Nest. We both work hourly jobs at a supermarket and we can both transfer to a larger store in the new city. But...
I'm still pretty young and I have only the slightest idea of what to watch out for. What kind of things should I be worried about when moving to the city for the first time?

Oh and... slightly more importantly... What things should I be careful about if said friend just happens to be a she?

listen to my sound advice,

stay put, don't bother, wait.

[GuitarStv]

I know that it depends on your situation and all but . . .

Don't move out if you can avoid it at all. Save any money you're making now, find yourself a better job, don't move out until you're more financially secure. Between university and my first five years working I lived with roommates / family to save up enough for a sizable down payment on a house. Now I pay less on my mortgage/property taxes/utilities than I used to on rent.

That said, back to your questions.

1. Girls are not as much fun to live with as they are to look at. In my experience with them as roommates they're messier, cause more drama, and are often harder to get along with than guys (this is assuming that you're both friends and you're not trying to move in with her to have sex more often . . . that's a whole other can of worms).
2. Figure out what happens with your lease if worse comes to worse and one of you bails. Figure out ALL billing beforehand . . . this includes utilities, furniture, rent, food, kitchen utensils/plates, entertainment (who brings the TV/blu-ray/etc).
3. Come up with some ground rules for who does what cleaning and when, what is acceptable behaviour. Does this other person want to have wild house parties every night, are you OK with them doing drugs, is this person going to be cool if you start bringing over a girlfriend all the time, etc.

Once the basics have been banged out and everyone knows where they stand you have much less chance of ruining things with your friend and it's easier to just get on with enjoying your freedom.

[ibanezrocks]

The fact you've gotten to this point leads me to believe you're not going to take advise saying "don't do it". In that case... have fun while it lasts.

[TheProphet]

Now I pay less on my mortgage/property taxes/utilities than I used to on rent.

Wish I could say the same, stupid housing market I'm paying close to double. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing I'll get some of that money back when I sell.

[JonnyG92]

How old are you?

You don't know if the friend is a dude or a chic? Is this a friend or someone on craig's list???

19; I know the friend and she is a chick.

I know that it depends on your situation and all but . . .

1. Girls are not as much fun to live with as they are to look at. In my experience with them as roommates they're messier, cause more drama, and are often harder to get along with than guys (this is assuming that you're both friends and you're not trying to move in with her to have sex more often . . . that's a whole other can of worms).
2. Figure out what happens with your lease if worse comes to worse and one of you bails. Figure out ALL billing beforehand . . . this includes utilities, furniture, rent, food, kitchen utensils/plates, entertainment (who brings the TV/blu-ray/etc).
3. Come up with some ground rules for who does what cleaning and when, what is acceptable behaviour. Does this other person want to have wild house parties every night, are you OK with them doing drugs, is this person going to be cool if you start bringing over a girlfriend all the time, etc.

We're both pretty sober, no parties or anything of the like.
The whole reason for the move is, we live in a sandbox town and we both are just sick of it. Her dad is also a major factor.
I'd just like to be able to get out of here and move onto a place with much more opportunity and an actual university to go to.
We're not doing it just for the sake of the whole "Woo hoo, we're moving out- finally free" crap, but I'd like to do it so I'm not working close to minimum wage for the rest of my life.
I'm hoping that if I can move out to a city while I'm still young, I have more of a chance to move up along to a real career with thousands of different customers daily instead of the same hundred or so.

[JonnyG92]

But I do believe I have to have some sort of coin saved up before I go, so I'm working on that.
Anyone think this idea is kind of childish and that I should wait longer?
Feel free to leave any kind of criticism

[jcthejester13]

Is your friend hot? Have you ever had sexual relations with one another?

[JonnyG92]

Yes to the first, No to the second.

[TheProphet]

Ok, pros and cons and pitfalls. This is from the perspective of a former renter and landlord.

Pro's:
- Female renters usually are more insistant on keeping the apartment clean. Specifically the common areas.
- Independance, find new friends, get exposed to new cultures etc.
- Can build responsibility in some people, practical experience with real world responsibilities.

Con's:
- Unless she's a manatee, emotions may enter the picture, either this will turn out well, badly, or not at all. Who knows, but it has led to problems in the past with some of my renters.
- Some people are not ready for the responsibility, they might have money handling issues.
- If you're thinking of university, you're currently making minimum wage, that will probably go towards your apartment, utilities, food, and entertainment. And that's not including emergency situations (for instance I've just shelled out $4,000 on repairs). I don't see you saving enough for uni. This is easier to do when you're living at home.

Pitfalls/Areas to be aware of:
- Pay your bills on time.
- Find a good method of making sure you both are contributing equally to the cost of the apartment.
- Figure out your food system ei. do you eat/cook together/share groceries?

Tons more but that's a starter

[jcthejester13]

Yes to the first, No to the second.

Don't move in together or one of two things will happen, ultimately leading to the same outcome-

You will either slowly start to annoy each other with little tendencies that the other person doesn't agree with until you both blow up at each other and want bludgeon one another to death with a hammer. You will slowly grow to hate each other and the friendship will die off

or

You will both end up thinking "we should plow one another because we can still be friends after that"... DON'T DO IT! You will bang once and then everything will be all screwed up and the friendship will get all weird because you are living together. After a while what was one hot night of fornication will turn to an eternity of hating each other and the friendship will die off.

The moral of the story: Don't move in together because within 6 months you will destroy a friendship and hate each other.

[JonnyG92]

As far as money goes, I'm working >34hrs/wk@9.35/hr. and I'm probably going to pick up a second job when I get there until college starts. And when it does, I'm just going to go for an associates in Business/Spanish so I can apply as a manager or Lead in the store. Then when/if I qualify for that position, I'll continue to work on my Bachelor's and work on advancing to a higher position. The chain that I work at is constantly growing and there's a lot of opportunity right now- just gotta get into it.

But... Trying to balance an associates with necessity spending is going to be the hard part, I think.

[Shadow1psc]

I know that it depends on your situation and all but . . .

Don't move out if you can avoid it at all. Save any money you're making now, find yourself a better job, don't move out until you're more financially secure. Between university and my first five years working I lived with roommates / family to save up enough for a sizable down payment on a house. Now I pay less on my mortgage/property taxes/utilities than I used to on rent.

That said, back to your questions.

1. Girls are not as much fun to live with as they are to look at. In my experience with them as roommates they're messier, cause more drama, and are often harder to get along with than guys (this is assuming that you're both friends and you're not trying to move in with her to have sex more often . . . that's a whole other can of worms).
2. Figure out what happens with your lease if worse comes to worse and one of you bails. Figure out ALL billing beforehand . . . this includes utilities, furniture, rent, food, kitchen utensils/plates, entertainment (who brings the TV/blu-ray/etc).
3. Come up with some ground rules for who does what cleaning and when, what is acceptable behaviour. Does this other person want to have wild house parties every night, are you OK with them doing drugs, is this person going to be cool if you start bringing over a girlfriend all the time, etc.

Once the basics have been banged out and everyone knows where they stand you have much less chance of ruining things with your friend and it's easier to just get on with enjoying your freedom.

I think this is the soundest advice in the thread. Stay where the rent is cheap and free as long as possible. And I don't mean, until your parents kick you out, but until you feel you absolutely need to move out into your own space to be an adult. I dunno about your state, but in CA, the housing market in some places is absolutely ridiculous. I'm 23, I just bought my first house with no outside help through an FHA loan. 2,000 sq. feet, $87k. The payment on this house is cheaper than any apartment in any surrounding area, and all I had to save up was about $4,000 between down payment and closing. You could work full time at McDonalds and pay my mortgage.

My advice is don't piss away your money if you've got a place to stay. I considered an apartment because I was living in one room with way too much stuff (A studios worth), but then realized I could bear it until I found the house I wanted and am happier for it. If you absolutely have to get out because of the urge to be independent/have more space/bachelor pad, more power to you, but from a logical stand point, in this market, renting is just a bad option, not to mention all the risks you're taking by relying on a room mate for half the rent and upkeep. Not to mention the problems with having an opposite sex roomate in close quarters.

IMO, stay where life is good and cheap. If either of those conditions change, then it's time to more seriously consider moving out. Take advantage of what your parents/family have to offer. Go to school and get a degree, or equivalent certifications in your field. If you don't know what you want to do yet, you'll be much happier living at home, then stressing about how to make ends meet once you're out and life hits you with something unexpected. Just my two cents!

[TheProphet]

2,000 sq. feet, $87k.

FML ... 860 sq. feet of a fixer-upper, $280,000.

[jcthejester13]

FML ... 860 sq. feet of a fixer-upper, $280,000.

No way! Here in MN, my house was $145k for 2400 sq. ft. and little work to do on it.

[Shadow1psc]

No way! Here in MN, my house was $145k for 2400 sq. ft. and little work to do on it.

Location, location, location! I live about 50 miles away from LA/Hollywood, but it's also a god damn desert (Palmdale).

[TheProphet]

A stick built house here at 2,400 square feet would run $450,000-$700,000. Modular will run you $400,000. A double wide trailer $330,000 - $450,000. I lucked out at $280 for a stick built.

Housing is pharked here, basically there was a lot of money and no available/new housing. Hell some houses on trucked water (ei. no hooked up to municipal water lines) are in the 7 figure range based on the fact that they are on waterfront lots.

Location is primarily the reason I bought it. Located right downtown, the land was rezoned for commercial/multi-residential use and it sits next to 2 empty lots. Development.

[Markk]

is this person going to be cool if you start bringing over a girlfriend all the time, etc.

A very interesting point to bring up.

In my experience, chicks are super messy when living on their own before turning into 'adults'.


I would pay particular attention to having a backup plan in case your career path flops. Seems like this is all based on a set goal in mind: to move up the ladder in a specific company. What if some other hotshot grabs that position and you're stuck at the bottom?

For what it's worth, every single case of 'moving out' in my family and extended has ended up in complete failure with people returning to mommy and daddy. Mind you, it was because they wanted to show they were adults and were fed up with the system, not necessarily job orientated motives.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

[Powdered Toast Man]

My house: 50+ years old, 920 sq ft, paid $185K, currently could sell for $230K

Put my house in Edmonton, AB, and increase that to about $450K

Put my house in Vancouver, BC, and increase that to about $700K