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Thread: Your mother

  1. #21
    Conjugateologist sosomething's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Kam View Post
    We don't joke about the famine here. That's like joking with your mum about syphilis and horse sex.

    Although, I do like a mum joke that most people have to go to wiki to understand.
    The last person who lived through the famine died over 50 years ago. Isn't that too late for "too soon?"

    Kinda like it's too late for your mom not to have earned the nickname "The Spunk Plumber". Know what I mean?
    -Adam

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  2. #22
    Shaftologist Kam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by sosomething View Post
    The last person who lived through the famine died over 50 years ago. Isn't that too late for "too soon?"

    Kinda like it's too late for your mom not to have earned the nickname "The Spunk Plumber". Know what I mean?
    Well, the attack on Pearl Harbour was almost 70 years ago and from what I understand, plenty of you are still a bit sore about that.

    Especially your mum, after I tie a bandanna around my head and yell, "Kamikazeeee!" while I depth-charge the **** out of her.
    Every love that made me lose my reasoning. Every chord that made my conscience ache. Every day spent counting hours. Well, none of them comes close to singing back a song inside my head.

    I remember calloused hands and paint-stained jeans, and I remember safe-as-houses self-belief.

  3. #23
    Conjugateologist sosomething's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Kam View Post
    Well, the attack on Pearl Harbour was almost 70 years ago and from what I understand, plenty of you are still a bit sore about that.

    Especially your mum, after I tie a bandanna around my head and yell, "Kamikazeeee!" while I depth-charge the **** out of her.
    Nobody here is still actively touchy about Pearl Harbour outside of jingoist xenophobes or 90-year-olds who actually fought in the war. We did waaaaaaaaaaaay more devastating sh1t to the Japanese in the end.

    Similarly to how I devastate your mom in the rear end.
    -Adam

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  4. #24
    Shaftologist Kam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by sosomething View Post
    Nobody here is still actively touchy about Pearl Harbour outside of jingoist xenophobes or 90-year-olds who actually fought in the war. We did waaaaaaaaaaaay more devastating sh1t to the Japanese in the end.

    Similarly to how I devastate your mom in the rear end.
    Very true. The Japanese are a pretty hardy people, though, something which I think has been proven by how capably they've handled the recent tsunami disaster.

    Speaking of tsunamis, that's exactly how your mum likes her semen.
    Every love that made me lose my reasoning. Every chord that made my conscience ache. Every day spent counting hours. Well, none of them comes close to singing back a song inside my head.

    I remember calloused hands and paint-stained jeans, and I remember safe-as-houses self-belief.

  5. #25
    Kablamminator ratherdashing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    I have nothing to contribute. I just wanted to be in this great thread.





    Kinda like how I was in your mom just now.

  6. #26
    Conjugateologist sosomething's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Kam View Post
    Very true. The Japanese are a pretty hardy people, though, something which I think has been proven by how capably they've handled the recent tsunami disaster.

    Speaking of tsunamis, that's exactly how your mum likes her semen.
    I have nothing but admiration for the Japanese. They make a fine car. They develop good technology. They have a rich cultural history. They serve beer from vending machines on the street.

    Just like the same way your mom takes her giant box out on the street and gives up the goods for change.
    -Adam

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  7. #27
    Shaftologist Kam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by sosomething View Post
    I have nothing but admiration for the Japanese. They make a fine car. They develop good technology. They have a rich cultural history. They serve beer from vending machines on the street.

    Just like the same way your mom takes her giant box out on the street and gives up the goods for change.
    Well, let's not forget that they have a pretty weird side, too. I mean they did give the world tentacle porn.

    I actually heard that the first story along those lines was written by a terrified Japanese tourist after he witnessed your mum having a few beers and murder-raping an entire chain-gang of convicted felons right there on the side of the highway. Apparently all he could see from under her gargantuan, sweaty behind was a few loose chains and rows of limbs reaching for help...
    Every love that made me lose my reasoning. Every chord that made my conscience ache. Every day spent counting hours. Well, none of them comes close to singing back a song inside my head.

    I remember calloused hands and paint-stained jeans, and I remember safe-as-houses self-belief.

  8. #28
    Conjugateologist sosomething's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kam View Post
    Well, let's not forget that they have a pretty weird side, too. I mean they did give the world tentacle porn.

    I actually heard that the first story along those lines was written by a terrified Japanese tourist after he witnessed your mum having a few beers and murder-raping an entire chain-gang of convicted felons right there on the side of the highway. Apparently all he could see from under her gargantuan, sweaty behind was a few loose chains and rows of limbs reaching for help...
    Wow, that one was a real mouthful.

    Kinda like the mouthful I'm giving your mom right now as I type this.
    -Adam

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  9. #29
    Shaftologist Kam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by sosomething View Post
    Wow, that one was a real mouthful.

    Kinda like the mouthful I'm giving your mom right now as I type this.
    Yeah, they're not as much fun when they're long.

    Your mum disagrees, though.
    Every love that made me lose my reasoning. Every chord that made my conscience ache. Every day spent counting hours. Well, none of them comes close to singing back a song inside my head.

    I remember calloused hands and paint-stained jeans, and I remember safe-as-houses self-belief.

  10. #30
    Gear Ho Gearjoneser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Thanks guys. My mother just passed away on Tuesday.





































    JUST KIDDING, F'ERS!!!!
    If you play guitar chest-high, you play from your heart.

    If you play guitar waist-high, you play from your guts.

    If you play guitar low, you play from your huevos.

  11. #31
    Kablamminator ratherdashing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Vault

  12. #32
    LoveMachineologist jeremy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    no. crypt

  13. #33
    Conjugateologist sosomething's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Kam View Post
    Yeah, they're not as much fun when they're long.

    Your mum disagrees, though.
    Y'know, all this talk of moms and such is actually making me feel a little bad. I know we're just joking around, and it's funny, but I can't ignore the little voice inside that says "Kam's mom is probably a perfectly nice lady and doesn't deserve to be derided this way." To be honest, it's all sort of putting a bad taste in my mouth.





















    Kind of like how your mom puts a bad taste on my wang.

















    She doesn't seem to mind it, though.
    -Adam

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  14. #34
    LoveMachineologist jeremy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    its really you putting the bad taste in her mouth

  15. #35
    Master of his Domain Agileguy_101's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Agileguy_101 View Post
    I gave your mom the ultimate wood last night.
    I feel way too much like Grumptruck doing this.

    Bump
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  16. #36
    Master of his Domain Agileguy_101's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Oh man this thread was epic.
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  17. #37
    Mojo's Minions youngthrasher9's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    This thread has some legendary "your mom" jokes. I opened it expecting to be disappointed, too.
    My Blog: thisismyhatnow.blogspot.com

    Quote Originally Posted by kevlar3000 View Post
    The smoker is great at adding a few decades, kinda like having Keith Richards breathe on yer guitar for a few hours...
    Quote Originally Posted by CTN View Post
    I will kill you. Then I will resuscitate you, so you can watch me steal your new Tokai and play some horrible sounding ultra-dissonant death metal on it, then I will kill you again.
    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DC RESISTANCE DOES NOT DETERMINE ACTUAL OUTPUT OF A PICKUP.

  18. #38
    Mojo's Minions Lazarus1140's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Agileguy_101 View Post
    Oh man this thread was epic.
    I almost said your mom was epic ... but she wasn't.
    KILLING THREADS SINCE 2007

  19. #39
    Master of his Domain Agileguy_101's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Lazarus1140 View Post
    I almost said your mom was epic ... but she wasn't.
    Oh snap.

    Sent from my dong.
    Last edited by Agileguy_101; 03-17-2014 at 05:58 PM. Reason: Missed the period. Just like your mom after I was done with her.
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  20. #40
    Imperator of Indignation idsnowdog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your mother

    This weekend I told someone to get back on their raft because we already met our dumb ass quota.
    Last edited by idsnowdog; 03-17-2014 at 08:04 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Securb View Post
    That plane went down like a Kardashian at a NAACP convention.

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