so... I'm a homewrecker!

[exnihilo]

Well if we're airing laundry - BTW mine is fresh and breezy. I also am in a relationship with a married woman (ie. married to someone else - and I'm more than sure he doesn't care.). I normally don't like sharing personal stuff, but given the crap that's being flung in this thread I figured I'd drop that load in here.

My personal take on it is (especially given my background in History) ... Marriage has been a social and economical contract for a very long time. Religious ... not so much, that'd be Holy Matrimony. Back in the olden days they didn't call marriages a civil union.

Second of all ... if someone judges me by their religious standards I couldn't care less. All throughout my life the biggest hypocrates and holier-than-you types have all been die hard religious types. So I guess I judge them right back.

Hope you all have a nice day.

+1.

Pomp and circumstance. A tax form. A "binding" contract. I couldn't give two ****s about what the paper says. It's what's here (points to chest) that matters. Taxes, insurance, other gov. perks; sign the paper, but at the end of the day, year, life, it's 'us' that keeps 'us' bound to one another, not a form, vows or anything else.

cg

[exnihilo]

IME when someone screams "don't judge me" they are seeking justication for behavior that they already know is wrong.

Moral relativism is a doomed philosophy.

It's also a man-made and socialistically driving invention. The majority rules, but that does not mean that the minority is "wrong".

cg

[Hagbard Celine]

I've known plenty of people in "loveless marriages" - close friends among them - and it is a shame. My wife and I were heading that way years ago. We looked at those people and said to each other we didn't want to live that way. We were able to work things out and 20 years later after 30 years of marriage she's my best friend and I lover her more than ever.

As has been said before if she was so unhappy and after trying to repair the relationship decided she couldn't stay married then she should have done the mature, adult thing and ended the relationship before starting a sexual one with you.

Sorry, you can try to justify your actions any way you want but no matter how "loveless" their relationship, her cheating with you and you schtupping a married women displays no class.

No class. No self control. No way to spin this as she's the victim and you are some sort of knight in shining armor taking her out of a loveless marriage.

And some of you guys are pigs. Some of this stuff is misogynist assholiness even if you are just trying to be funny or clever. But whatever you do, don't mention anything remotely socially controversial in this "guitar" forum.

[iismet]

9 pages of complete bull****

But whatever you do, don't mention anything remotely socially controversial in this "guitar" forum.

- perfect

[BloodRose]

It is extremely difficult, much more so for her than I. The plan is for to spend the winter living alone & not move in together immediately. She's. Been with this guy 25 years & never experienced life on her own, so to speak. And niether of us wants this to be a rebound type relationship. A considerable amount of thought has gone into her decision, it's not because she's leaving him for me, this is something she needs to do regardless of me being in the picture. Maybe I've been the catalyst, but nothing more.

This, is gooooooood thinking! For you both. I FULLY understand all you are saying and I hope it all works out for you! Her husband either proved he doesnt care or doesnt think she is gonna actually do it.

[Bayou_Picker]

Hagbard, you don't have many friends do you? Must be hard being so self-righteous.

[Stratman]

Maybe because I am rotten to the core when it comes to dealing with women’s emotions, I can offer words and advice for you to enjoy….

1) Women are always looking for a brighter side to life.
2) Women control their junk and let you only enjoy it for a while, but for a price (Married or not).
3) Any man who thinks he can offer a women something better than what she already has (Husband, male friend, paying customer) is only fooling himself.
4) Once a women experiences s e x she knows exactly what men want from them and starts calculating what she can get from them.
5) Marriage for 20+ years is over-rated, you can not love someone that long and not hate something that they do. It wears on you.
6) Any man who gets involved with a married women is wanting to take one problems that she has with her husband and possible take him on too (Or he might just be happy to get rid of her)
7) Any man who has s e x for domination is a dog.’


I’m the big dog, leader of the pack!

[Stratman]

It's official. She moved out & is filing for divorce.

This post is no good without VIDEO, heck with photos….

Hopefully, she is still good with her junk!

[MattPete]

I only read the first page, but it sounds like this marriage was over 10 years ago. And based upon the husband's response, they were man and wife in name only.

[MattPete]

She's still a married woman until the divorce is final.

Wrong. She is officially broken-up once she has notified her husband that she wants a divorce. Anything that occurs from here on out is not cheating, as she has notified her husband that she no longer wants to be with him.

Case in point #1: A good friend of my wife, while at a conference, was notified over the phone that her husband wanted a divorce (real classy). It was a nasty divorce that took 4 years to finalize. During that time period (18 months after the notification), she met the man that would be her future husband. A year or so after her divorce finalized, she married her new husband. So there was a roughly 30 month period where she dated this new guy while trying to finalize the divorce with her cheating not-yet-ex husband.

According to you, she should have waited for the divorce to go through before dating. That's just stupid, as her current/soon-to-be-ex husband could have effectively held her love life hostage by dragging the divorce out (and he was the one that cheated and asked for the divorce).

Case in point #2: My ex and I realized that our marriage was over and that we should end it. Finding out that she was cheating sped up my decision process, but we had effectively been roommates the last few years of our marriage. We handed it very maturely and the divorce was a breeze. However, the state that we lived in had some blue laws that potentially could have delayed our divorce. We had to either have (1) lived apart for 2 years, or (2) lived apart for 1 year after filing for divorce. We lied to the judge and said that we had been living apart for the past two years.

So, in January 2002 we were divorced. In July I moved across the country for a new job. In September I met, and in December I started dating, the woman who would be my future and current wife. So, if my ex- and I had not lied, we would still have been married when I started dating my current wife, and according to you, that would have been cheating (despite the fact that 15 months earlier we had decided to get divorced). That's just stupid.

[MattPete]

Note: I actually wrote this before posting above, and my examples are not from the examples in the above post.

I've known a couple of folks who have been in loveless marriages, who stayed together for a number of years simply because they didn't know what to do. They had a roommate (the spouse), they got along, but there was no love. At this point they were two acquaintances.

And you know what? They met someone, technically 'cheated' on their spouse, got divorced, and lived happily ever after with that new person.

I know for a lot of people their first response is repulsion. But for the 3 involved, it's often no big deal. In this case, the response from the husband was 'meh'. He knew it was over, it had been over for a long time, and the only reason they were still together was because they were still roommates.

After seeing this happen a few times, I've relaxed my criterion. I'm still repulsed by cheating, but sometimes things that are legally cheating technically are not. Who knows: maybe these two should have been together all along.

Now, my cheating spend-thrift ex-wife is a different matter.

[stratobastard]

Note: I actually wrote this before posting above, and my examples are not from the examples in the above post.

I've known a couple of folks who have been in loveless marriages, who stayed together for a number of years simply because they didn't know what to do. They had a roommate (the spouse), they got along, but there was no love. At this point they were two acquaintances.

And you know what? They met someone, technically 'cheated' on their spouse, got divorced, and lived happily ever after with that new person.

I know for a lot of people their first response is repulsion. But for the 3 involved, it's often no big deal. In this case, the response from the husband was 'meh'. He knew it was over, it had been over for a long time, and the only reason they were still together was because they were still roommates.

After seeing this happen a few times, I've relaxed my criterion. I'm still repulsed by cheating, but sometimes things that are legally cheating technically are not. Who knows: maybe these two should have been together all along.
Now, my cheating spend-thrift ex-wife is a different matter.

Cheater!

[uOpt]

Still no pics?