Why is Polygamy almost universally considered wrong?

[big_black]

Go to Utah and check it out. Report your findings. I'm curious.

Ugh....no thanks.

[brisk]

There's a huge difference between maximizing liberty for consenting adults and people trying to take advantage of small kids. Pedophiles are not at all comprable to adults who want to be in a relationship with more than 1 person at a time.

I think it's normal for your age to have this type of questions.

[JacobTM]

I'd guess about 95% of the reason.

Well, most of it anyway. According to the 2001 census, just less than 80% of US citizens identify themselves as Christians, with 15% responding as No Religion/Atheist/Agnostic.

The times, they are a changin'.

[JacobTM]

Go to Utah and check it out. Report your findings. I'm curious.

You're still missing the point.

I understand that there are communities in the rural parts of Utah where polygamist families are abusive. It says nothing about the practice of polygamy or polygamists in other places. All it says is that specific community is abusive.

[big_black]

I think it's normal for your age to have this type of questions.

He has a point though.

Comparing a group of habitual child abusers and a group of consenting adults who want to practice a lifestyle outside the norm really have nothing to do with one another. Apples and oranges.

[JacobTM]

I knew three women that escaped from their husband(s). Two had been married to one man, and the third was their neighbor/friend. I met them at a battered women's shelter they were living at. They escaped because they feared for their lives, they hitch-hiked to California and were taken in to this local shelter.

After spending the day with these women, you know that polygamy is wrong. Dead wrong.

You keep on this logic, but it's so flawed.

I know kids who were beaten by their monogamist fathers. It doesn't mean monogamy is wrong. If you watch the news at all, you see stories about teachers who have sex with their underage students. It doesn't mean teachers are pedophiles.

Those men who abused their wives were bastards, but it's the men who were bastards, they weren't forced to be abusive by the fact that they had several wives. Those guys could've lived anywhere else in the world, married one woman, and abused the hell out of one woman as a perfectly monogamous man. It's a problem with abusive individuals.

[KoreanGuitarMan]

You try wearing one of those ugly dresses for a day and tell me the women aren't universally oppressed.

[JacobTM]

How is my logic flawed? Because REAL LIFE situations poke the bubble you like being in?

No. I've explained it at least 5 times. Just because some polygamists do horrible things, it doesn't mean that polygamy is to blame, it only means that those individuals are horrible people. There are monogamists that abuse their wives/children just like polygamists. It doesn't mean anything about the family structure they choose, it just means that they are abusive people.

Why would multiple women want to be in a relationship with one man? Most likely because they are weak by themselves and only feel comfort if being bossed around by a man who "loves them".

Why would a man want multiple wives? Because of his ego. He will feel important being the object of desire by more than one devoted wife.

How do you control more than one wife? Physical violence is a good one. These women are almost never very driven, nor do they have very high self esteem. If he "loves them" then generally all abused women take it.

Think about it with real life logic. You can't candy coat everything. Mankind as a whole is not the most loving or selfless creature out there.

You're just making steryotypes.

"Real life logic" is complicated. People make decisions for tons of reasons, and you can't say that everyone who does something does it for a certain reason. Your steryotypical weak woman who can't make it on her own could just as easily enter into a monogamous relationship with 1 man. Doesn't have anything to do with polygamy. A guy with a big ego who wants to abuse women has a problem. It doesn't say anything about polygamy, just that some people are pricks.

[booboo]

How is my logic flawed? Because REAL LIFE situations poke the bubble you like being in?

Why would multiple women want to be in a relationship with one man? Most likely because they are weak by themselves and only feel comfort if being bossed around by a man who "loves them".

Why would a man want multiple wives? Because of his ego. He will feel important being the object of desire by more than one devoted wife.

How do you control more than one wife? Physical violence is a good one. These women are almost never very driven, nor do they have very high self esteem. If he "loves them" then generally all abused women take it.

Think about it with real life logic. You can't candy coat everything. Mankind as a whole is not the most loving or selfless creature out there.

Your logic is flawed because you are taking a very very very small sample, i.e. the 3 women you helped, and are applying that to a whole group of people. You also speculate as to the reasons why people may want to be in such a relationship and on the actions of those involved in the relationship based again on the small sample that you have experienced. Any group that is happy in their polygamous relationship that have entered into it willingly and stay there willingly is a real life situation that pokes a hole in the bubble you like being in.

You cannot make blanket statements about a group of people based on the experiences of 3 of that group.

It would be like saying that because some priests have been found guilty of child abuse that all priests are bad and so are the institutions they represent. Because a small sample is guilty of such things, does that make everyone in the group guilty?

Your own personal experiences are clouding your judgement. It's not the first time you have taken your own small set of experiences and reached a conclusion without considering that others may have differing experiences and opinions. I doubt it will be the last either.

[Rainmaker]

Chops, a potato gives you food poisoning. What was the cause of the food poisoning, the potato itself or the bactera which happened to infect it?

The question is whether the potato caused or correlated to food poisoning. The fact that it happened once does NOT mean that potatoes are responsible for the food poisoning.

Food for thought, pun intended.

[Gearjoneser]

One reason. As long as jealousy lives in the female mind, it'll never work.
No matter what they think entering into it, the house of cards will crumble as soon as one woman sees another woman getting more attention. Word.

To answer your question 'why is it universally wrong and illegal?' As long as you have some A hole impregnating as many women as he likes, his marriage will most likely crumble, and those children will be a liability of the government. If it were up to me, our country would be like China.....nobody is allowed to litter the earth with as many kids as they feel like. I'm hardcore though.....I wouldn't even allow people with defects to reproduce, nor would I allow junkies to leave a hospital without their tubes being tied, but that's just my twisted opinion.

[Rainmaker]

Here's a good thought:

Put yourself in another person's shoes.






I'm adamant that the second male would feel equally jealous.

[FretFire]

I thought that in most states (possibly all but Utah) it's against the law to be married to more than one person at a time? That would be a pretty good reason, though I could be mistaken.

Jacob, also keep in mind the anti-thesis of your argument. You don't see polygamy as being particularly harmless, so you don't have a problem with someone else wanting to pursue it... however just because you see it as harmless doesn't mean it IS harmless. You have said yourself you don't know a whole lot about it, so there's a possibility you're missing something. I'm not saying I have any info, I don't, just tossing that thought out there. The world does exist outside of our individual thoughts and opinions.

[larry_emder]

Jacob, you are probably right.......but i cant see this argument going anywhere

[booboo]

Forget it. I just wasted my night arguing about stuff like marriage with a guy who is still in high school.

Good night.

Ah, the ad hominem fallacy. If you don't know what that is try looking here:
http://www.don-lindsay-archive.org/s...arguments.html

While you are there, check out causal reductionism.

[FretFire]

Did you say rectal-cranial inversion?

(Not directed at anyone, I just thought of that when reading the above post )

[booboo]

I thought that in most states (possibly all but Utah) it's against the law to be married to more than one person at a time? That would be a pretty good reason, though I could be mistaken.

Jacob, also keep in mind the anti-thesis of your argument. You don't see polygamy as being particularly harmless, so you don't have a problem with someone else wanting to pursue it... however just because you see it as harmless doesn't mean it IS harmless. You have said yourself you don't know a whole lot about it, so there's a possibility you're missing something. I'm not saying I have any info, I don't, just tossing that thought out there. The world does exist outside of our individual thoughts and opinions.

I think that is what Jacob is asking. The topic is why is it considered wrong. No-one has really come up with a logical explanation that justifies the banning of all polygamy. They've come up with some pretty good reasons for why you may not want to get involved in a polygamous relationship but none of those really justify legislating against it.

[FretFire]

I think that is what Jacob is asking. The topic is why is it considered wrong. No-one has really come up with a logical explanation that justifies the banning of all polygamy. They've come up with some pretty good reasons for why you may not want to get involved in a polygamous relationship but none of those really justify legislating against it.

I totally agree, I just wanted to point out that the opposite of what he's asking could also be asked (if that makes ANY sense at all). There's probably not a whole lot of information here on the boards to support either side, basically meaning this thread won't go anywhere lol. He's asking if there's an argument against it, when we could ask if there's any argument beside "if it feels good do it" in its favor. After all, if you can't prove it right, isn't that in effect the same as proving it wrong, so to speak?

[brisk]

He has a point though.

Comparing a group of habitual child abusers and a group of consenting adults who want to practice a lifestyle outside the norm really have nothing to do with one another. Apples and oranges.

That's depending on how you see it.

You see them as a group of habitual child abuser. Do you think they see themselves in the same way you see? Probably not.

They believe that there are kids who want to have sex and hence the society should recognize kids' right to excerse thier freedom. I know it may be lame but I bet they are as serious as those who believe polygamy has no substantial harm and should be legalized.

Same maximum liberty issue. You are simple more comportable with accepting one than the other. Other people may feel more comportable with accepting the one you feel more uncomportable.

That's why I see double standard here.

[Socrates]

IMO polygamy devolves a society into a giant orgy... but some people may find nothing wrong with that.

I for one, don't think I could survive with multiple wives, whether it was legal/moral or not. The love you give to someone is returned to you by that person. If you share a love so special and intimate like that with more than one person, they couldn't love you back much knowing your love is being shared with someone else. It's like karma, you get what you give. Sure more people may love you that way, but I'd take quality over quantity any day.

Sure it all is a matter of opinion, many laws are. But so is everything else. Some people think the death penalty is cruel and unusual, but in some societies it's considered a norm.