question for the men with kids

[newking70]

were you there in the delivery room whilst your significant other gave birth? would it be a cardinal sin not to be there?

[Skullkrusher]

It all depends on your wife, bro. I was in the room for both my kids, but if I really had not wanted to be my wife would have understood.

[Hoss]

to answer both questions...







YES!!!

[tone4days]

i was there both times ... once for a 'regular' delivery and once for a C-section ...

i'd say that the dad's best bet is to ask the delivering mom what she wants ... if she wants the dad there but he really feel that there is a reason why he doesn't want or can't be there, then he should try to explain it to her honestly and compassionately ... maybe there is a way that they can work it out so that he can be there, but avoid whatever it is that might give him trouble (e.g. stay away from the 'business end' and just look into her eyes and hold her hand or whatever) ... if the dad can honestly and (dare i say it) vulnerably tell the mom why he really needs to not be there, it's a tough call ... the mom might really need her partner to be there for support and 'connection' ....

i gotta say, it was a pretty spectacular thing to see both times ... i'm glad i didnt miss it ...

i'd recommmend that the dad try to talk it out with someone other than the mom to seee if he can find a way to tough it out for her ... maybe a little confidence building, advice, etc can help him 'get over' whatever it is that he is thinking about ... who knows, maybe with a little prep, he can get himself into the rigth head space to really enjoy it

hope this helps
t4d

mike, you gotta cut a guy some slack on this ... i knew a guy who was really afraid to be in there 'cus he knew he'd pass out ... he told his wife ahead of time that he didnt think it was a good idea ... she brow beat and guilted him into being there ... sure enough, he passed out and cracked his head open when he hit the floor .. they had to take him down to the ER .. not good for anybody

[Guitar Toad]

I was in the room. I wanted to be there. If I would have said, "No, I do not want to be in there." I don't believe that my wife would have liked that. I was supposed to take pictures of the event. But, I couldn't bring my self to do it. she didn't understand. I thought it was weird to take pictures of the actual birth event. I don't believe that is necessary. Our friends video'ed the event to show their kid. I don't believe that is necessary.

Yes. I believe the father should be present and in the room witnessing the birth of his children. It's amazing, wonderful, difficult to describe experience. You'll be glad you were there. The doctor handed me the scissors to cut the umblilical cord. I dropped them. He handed them to me again. I cut it very nervously. The placenta came out. I didn't want to eat it. It was cool to see though. I just thought so that's what a placenta looks like. :laugh2;

[newking70]

The doctor handed me the scissors to cut the umblilical cord. I dropped them. He handed them to me again. I cut it very nervously. The placenta came out. I didn't want to eat it. It was cool to see though. I just thought so that's what a placenta looks like. :laugh2;

are you required to eat it? is that some new fad?

[Skullkrusher]

are you required to eat it? is that some new fad?

Tastes great with mint sauce!!

[Guitar Toad]

are you required to eat it? is that some new fad?

I didn't even consider or think about eating it. It's just a sick contemporary joke.
Folks that make jokes about this stuff should be locked away...

My son was born 7 years ago. My wife was on bed rest for 6 weeks prior to the delivery. After what my wife had been through, it really would have been inexcuseable. If I had said, "Darlin, I really don't want to be in the room with you. Please, understand." That statement certainly would have produced another not so proud memory, if you know what I mean.

[Hoss]

yeah i was being a little hard on ya...sorry...but you'll wish you would have been there if you don't do it!

i'm one of those guys who passes out with stuff like that and i'm even getting a little light headed thinking back at it (no joke), but i did it...i did it and i had even had knee surgery a few weeks prior and had my entire right leg immobilized....but i wouldn't have missed it for the world!

[real59er]

I was there for both, wouldn't have had it any other way, and to witness their coming into the world is a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life. I would not have wanted to miss that for the world. It is very intense, all in a good way though. I'd say it's between you and the future mom, though. For me, it was just one (well two) of those moments in life.

[cvansickle]

My only child, my daughter, was born by C-section, but I was there and would have hated to have missed it.

I'll never forget the delivery. They had me suit up in the sterile suit, and left me waiting in the hall outside the surgery room until they were ready to let me in. I was alone, and it felt like I was the only person left on the planet at the time. As the doctor walked into the surgery, I told him "everything I have is in that room!"

When they finally let me in - it was only minutes but felt like days - it was very surreal. Crowded, bright lights, noisy. It felt like I was in a tin can and was rolling down a hill while being beaten by baseball bats. But when I saw my daughter emerge, everything changed. Everything was right with the world again. Even now, writing this, the torrent of emotions is coming back.

Any way it happens, it is not to be missed.

[Skullkrusher]

Make sure you get to clip the cord too. I did for both my kids.

[tone4days]

the doc handed me the scissors ... i told her, "umm, which one of us went to med school?" ... she chuckled and said, "you'r son's waiting" .. so i did it ... pretty cool

i went over to the table with him to make sure he was ok (he was 5 weeks early) so i was blessed with not seeing the placenta and subsequent 'putting back together'

just another hint, don't watch the episiotomy

t4d

[Voxman]

Yes ,both times.
And no to the other question

[tone4days]

no, it is not edible ... in fact, some hospitals actually pay you for it (check for a coupla dollar credit on your itemized bill) ... they turn around and sell it to these goofy haircare/skin care product companies as raw materials for the VERY high priced 'beauty' products they make from it

some people refuse to sell it and take it home and plant it in their garden or plant a tree over it

goofy

t4d

[Guitar Toad]

no, it is not edible ... in fact, some hospitals actually pay you for it (check for a coupla dollar credit on your itemized bill) ... they turn around and sell it to these goofy haircare/skin care product companies as raw materials for the VERY high priced 'beauty' products they make from it

some people refuse to sell it and take it home and plant it in their garden or plant a tree over it

goofy

t4d

Really, we didn't get offered options for the placenta...I had no idea. Now, I feel ripped off.

[newking70]

i guess the most gratifying part is to realise that a part of you will live on?

[tone4days]

i guess the most gratifying part is to realise that a part of you will live on?

nah, that wasnt it for me
for me it was cementing the new element of the relationship with my wife ... we were now parents .. a whole new ballgame ... being there made it concrete how we were in it together ... that together we'd be there for each other to support each other in giving our children the best possible loving, learning, nurturing foundation possible for them to grow their lives on

i remember a guy from our prechildbirth classes who was saying he didnt want to go in there 'cus he would never be able to have sex with his wife again if he saw her that way ... i felt sorry for him (and for her) ... that's a guy who has some seriously screwed over views on marital love right there

t4d

[newking70]

nah, that wasnt it for me
for me it was cementing the new element of the relationship with my wife ... we were now parents .. a whole new ballgame ... being there made it concrete how we were in it together ... that together we'd be there for each other to support each other in giving our children the best possible loving, learning, nurturing foundation possible for them to grow their lives on

quit your making me cry

[tone4days]

quit your making me cry

cool
good luck