Dude... go to the doctor. Seriously.

[B2D]

That's what i said to my supervisor at work today after he farted for the 6th time in just under 5 minutes.


Let me give you some background. My supervisor is a 40-y.o. man with a wife and a 10-year old kid. This guy lets out a really serious fart about once every 15 minutes and burps about once every five minutes. I don't mean like little "phoots" and "bupps" either. This guy seriously scares me with the noises he makes. The farts sound like baritone tubas and the burps... well it'd be tough telling the difference between one of those and the shower drain gurgling.

Now that I've disgusted (or amused) some of you... here's my cause for concern. I've discovered that my boss' main problem is that he's begun eating 2-3 times more than what he should. On purpose... to the point of pain. Example....

Boss: *sits down at desk after getting back from lunch, stomach distended* UUuuuugh.... Oh god.

Me: What's wrong with you?

Boss: Oh jeebus... I ate too much.

Me: Well why the hell'd you do that?

Boss: I dunno man... oh dammit. I had four double cheesburgers and then I went and slept in my car for the rest of my lunch.

Me: Dude! You really shouldn't do that. That's really harmful in the long AND the short run.

Boss: *lets out the most vicious fart you can imagine*

Me: Good God!! F***!! Go wipe, dude!!

Boss: Awwwwwwgh... I'm not well.

Me: No s***, sherlock! Seriously, don't overeat like that and go see a doctor about those pipes.

Boss: Ohhh man... i ate too much man.



This has been going on for a few months now. Seriously... he's overeating to the point where I fear his stomach may burst (not joking), he's in pain for an hour after he gorges, and he's producing more gas than an oil refinery. He needs to see a doctor because this kind of compulsive eating is really dangerous. He's about 5'9, 250 pounds and gaining weight fast. How do i properly tell him to get some help?

I know he's a loser and I don't like him anyway and his wife is a psycho and he's constantly causing himself stress on the job by not working when he should, but I don't wanna see him eat himself into a casket.

What do i say to this?

[newking70]

if it bothers you that much, get a different job

[davedvdy]

if it bothers you that much, get a different job

Or wear a gas mask

[Grandor]

Some people just suck.

[davedvdy]

Some people just suck.

Who are you referring to, his boss or us?

[StrangeSound]

Some people will never learn...perhaps he has cancer of the colon. I saw a documentary on tv where a doc had to remove the cancer and the reporter asked how did the patient notice something was wrong and the doc said he produced too much wind...that's all. Of course that doesn't mean every fart is bad..but man with his lifestyle..

[Grandor]

Who are you referring to, his boss or us?

Rob Option

[davedvdy]

Rob Option

I choose, the Dazed and Confused option

[GuitarStv]

Just wait untill he's in a room alone and excreting those gasses, the lob a match in from the hall and let the problem solve itself . . .

[Rich_S]

Bucket!

[danglybanger]

this whole thread made me cringe... uggh.

Can I just come clean here so to speak? I think I'm one of the only males in the world who is honestly not amused by farts. As a matter of fact I'm pretty disgusted by that whole prospect.

I'm done

Slade

[SlyFoxx]

4 double cheeseburgers!? That's nuts! BTW...Remember when a "Big Mac" was a large burger? Not anymore. That guy is eating himself into an early heart attack.

B2D, are you up for his job if he kicks?

[Skarekrough]

Any idea why this guy is doing it to himself? Is it some sort of deathwish he has or even a psychological condition?

[LesStrat]

this whole thread made me cringe... uggh.

Can I just come clean here so to speak? I think I'm one of the only males in the world who is honestly not amused by farts. As a matter of fact I'm pretty disgusted by that whole prospect.

I'm done

Slade

"Ve--ddy in-ter-est-ing."

[budalash]

B2D, this is so funny, I even thought you made it all up just to make us laugh the way in which you tell the story is just hilarious
I ca't help you solve your dilemma, but you did make me laugh...

[WORSHIPTEAM]

I'd say that if he has a phsyco wife, maybe he is trying to off himself without knowing that he is. Or, she could be riding his butt about his wieght and he is just trying to piss her off.

[RW James]

Any idea why this guy is doing it to himself? Is it some sort of deathwish he has or even a psychological condition?

I think you nailed it...

his wife is a psycho

This may have a lot to do with it - plus, it sounds like he is not completely happy with his work. He's using food like a lot of people use drugs or alcohol. It's a comfort to him when he's doing it, but he pays for it later. But it's an escape. He does need professional help.

[B2D]

if it bothers you that much, get a different job

Or wear a gas mask

I'm thining abouta different job, but for different reasons. My desk fan keeps me safe for now.

Some people will never learn...perhaps he has cancer of the colon.

Hmmm... never thought of that.

Just wait untill he's in a room alone and excreting those gasses, the lob a match in from the hall and let the problem solve itself . . .

4 double cheeseburgers!? That's nuts! BTW...Remember when a "Big Mac" was a large burger? Not anymore. That guy is eating himself into an early heart attack.
B2D, are you up for his job if he kicks?

Yeah... I've been reducing my meal portions lately and I can only get through about 3/4 of a restaurant-size burger before feeling full. I don't WANT his job... I'd hate it. I don't like this job anyway but it'll pay the bills for school and provide ample support until I find something more fulfilling.

Any idea why this guy is doing it to himself? Is it some sort of deathwish he has or even a psychological condition?

From what I know about his life, based upon his constant complaining about his wife, his kid's bratty habits, his living situation, the fact that he's constantly behind on his work, etc... it just sounds like he's not very happy with his life. Maybe eating and the taste of food is the only thing he looks forward to anymore.

BTW, when I say his wife is a psycho, I mean she actually is slowly going insane and she's in the process of getting several levels of professional psychological help. She calls him about once every 30 minutes at work claiming that she's dying... those phone calls usually lead to fights about their kid, her doctors, their money, he-said-she-said stuff, etc. The fact that she's a compulsive liar, a compulsive buyer, an insomniac, has an OCD problem with scratching her scalp and pulling her hair out doesn't help much.

I think you nailed it... This may have a lot to do with it - plus, it sounds like he is not completely happy with his work. He's using food like a lot of people use drugs or alcohol. It's a comfort to him when he's doing it, but he pays for it later. But it's an escape. He does need professional help.

Agreed.

[theodie]

This is really sad but, I cant stop laughing at it!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

Sucks to be you B but, from my perspective it is funny as hell!!!!!

[B2D]

This is really sad but, I cant stop laughing at it!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

Sucks to be you B but, from my perspective it is funny as hell!!!!!

On the surface... it IS pretty amusing. But alas, even hearing farts constantly for 3 months gets old. And the problem at hand really isn't that funny at all... kinda interesting huh? I have to admit when I read that transcripted conversation I WAS laughing... its just so ridiculous to read.