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Thread: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

  1. #21
    HamerTimeologist nepalnt21's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    by chance, i came across this bulletin on myspace...

    "WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT DEATH

    Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death! Make a personal reflection about this. Very interesting, read until the end.

    It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."


    Here are some men and women who mocked God:

    JOHN LENNON: Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said: "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him" (1966). Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

    TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil ): During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.

    CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet): During a show in Canecoo ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for you." He died at the age of 32 of AIDS.

    THE MAN WHO BUILT THE TITANIC: After the construction of the Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it" The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

    MARILYN MONROE: She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus". A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.

    BON SCOTT: The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: "Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell". On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

    CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005: In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU." She responded: "ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE TRUNK, CAUSE INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL". Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact. The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none were broken.

    CHRISTINE HEWITT: A Jamaican Journalist and entertainer, said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written, in June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.

    Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

    JESUS!!!

    P.S: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this? I have done my part, Jesus said "If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father."

    "What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses his soul? What can man give in exchange of his soul?" (Matthew 16:26).

    In Jesus Name

    AMEN"

  2. #22
    Zuhahahaologist daemon barbeque's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    This is my fav.Reminds me inquisition and such!

    "Athiests as a Majority

    This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
    ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
    ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
    ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
    ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

    The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

    ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
    ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
    ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
    ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
    ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
    ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.
    ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
    ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
    ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

    Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

    ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
    ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

    The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

    RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

  3. #23
    Godfather of Unholy Metal Distortion Luís's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    BON SCOTT: The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: "Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell". On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.
    Well, they can't dust for vomit, ya know...
    Quote Originally Posted by threechordcharlie and ratherdashing
    TCC:What happened to LSP?
    RD:A question friends and school guidance counselors have been asking for years.

  4. #24
    Mo Cow Bellologist texasguitarslinger's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by LSP View Post
    Well, they can't dust for vomit, ya know...
    ROFL! Classic quote!
    ~Sid

    "If you play a Nickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the devil. Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear Nickelback." ~David Grohl


  5. #25
    18 watts of Mayhemologist JumpMarine's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"




    This whole thread is !!!
    Gibson R8, Fender CS Dirty Dozen Strat, Divided by 13 EDT 13/29, Twister Dust Devil, Marshall Class 5, Various pedals

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    Zuhahahaologist daemon barbeque's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by JumpMarine View Post



    This whole thread is !!!
    Ofcourse ,since it's made of lame quotes and that's the point!

  7. #27
    Raining PunLord LesStrat's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by JumpMarine View Post



    This whole thread is !!!
    Perluss Whun.

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    Mojo's Minions Mephis's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    ""God hates therefore I hate. God only cares about the Adamic white race therefore I only care for the Adamic white race, bastard."

    AryanaAquillia, Black Exodus [Comments (59)] [2006-Aug-05]"

    Ahahahahahaha
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  9. #29
    Volcano Fireologist Jonny R's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    I've read just as silly quotes from liberals...it just seems no one on this board bothers going lookin for those and posting them here...
    Last edited by Jonny R; 01-30-2007 at 06:08 AM.

  10. #30
    PlayingWithDollsologist Ken's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny R View Post
    I've read just as silly quotes from liberals...it just seems no one on this board goes lookin for those and posting them...
    The liberal media and our liberal government shut down those websites before they leak too far

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    Zuhahahaologist daemon barbeque's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny R View Post
    I've read just as silly quotes from liberals...it just seems no one on this board bothers going lookin for those and posting them here...
    Jonny You are a smart guy!
    Instead of telling taht Liberals can be stupid too ,tell us how stupid those things are!We all laugh and think about that crap.And yess ,there are so many Liberals say such stupid things too.But that do not change the fact that how stupid Fundies are!!!Maybe not all of them,but many of them

  12. #32
    Zuhahahaologist daemon barbeque's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Ken View Post
    The liberal media and our liberal government shut down those websites before they leak too far
    Wich do not excist really in U.S.A nowadays!!!!Walker is not a Liberal..But i may be wrong

  13. #33
    Kablamminator ratherdashing's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny R View Post
    I've read just as silly quotes from liberals...it just seems no one on this board bothers going lookin for those and posting them here...
    Yup, there are idiots in every walk of life. These ones happen to have been conveniently put on display.

  14. #34
    Gear Ho Gearjoneser's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    If you play guitar chest-high, you play from your heart.

    If you play guitar waist-high, you play from your guts.

    If you play guitar low, you play from your huevos.

  15. #35
    Ultimate Tone Slacker Frankly's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    I will pray for all of you.

  16. #36
    Wookieologist Gr8Scott's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    :******: I'm not even a Christian and this thread makes me uncomfortable. Sure there are lots of dumb statements made by dumb people from many groups. To assemble them in one place so others of a like mind/hatred can all gather round and take turns laughing at them is kind of creepy IMHO. This is no different than a "Jews say the darndest things" thread now is it? Care to pick up your complimentary deaths-head totenkopf that perfectly compliments the hateful behavior I see in this thread?


    I guess noone has thought about how many Christians on this site would feel about something like this. Like it or not, fundamentalism is a part of the population of Christianity. Maybe you don't agree with it (I certainly don't), but that doesn't give you license to use them like a poo-stick to humiliate the normal Christians on this site. Saying that you're only talking about the fundies and not the normal Christians is like saying "I'm only making fun of the Hasidic Jews, not the normal Orthodox Jews". Other Jewish denominations won't exactly be thrilled by the "distinction".

    If you have a shred of humility and decency about you, please delete this thread and the absolutely disgusting posts contained therein. :dammit:

  17. #37
    Ultimate Tone Slacker Frankly's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Maybe the person who started this thread can change the title from "Fundies" to "Dixie Chicks."

  18. #38
    Raining PunLord LesStrat's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Color me stupid.

  19. #39
    Gear Ho Gearjoneser's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Gr8Scott View Post



    If you play guitar chest-high, you play from your heart.

    If you play guitar waist-high, you play from your guts.

    If you play guitar low, you play from your huevos.

  20. #40
    Wookieologist Gr8Scott's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Fundies say the darndest things!"

    Wouldn't that be a noodlekopf?

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